Sharman D. Colosetti, Ph.D.

Quote from Harville Hendrix, one of the couples counseling gurus: “When two people meet and fall in love, they idealize each other. They see each other as the person who will meet their needs. At first it seems true—people do all sorts of things they wouldn’t normally do because they’re trying to bond with someone, and we each end up with the impression that the other person is perfect and they’re going to do all we want them to do. But once a commitment is made—this often happens after a wedding—there is a desire to reclaim ourselves, to find some differentiation from the merger that happened during courtship, and we begin to act more like our true self. For example, when we’re dating, if you say vanilla is your favorite ice cream, I might eat vanilla ice cream, too, just to bond with you. But then we get married and you find out chocolate is really my favorite flavor and you wonder where the guy who liked vanilla went. It seems to you that I’m not the person you married, that I’m behaving differently or strangely, and you want that idealized person back, the one who was meeting all your needs.” To read the whole article, go to www.eomega.org/omega/conversations-with-omega/why-couples-fight/?source=ENEWS.OM

Just got back from a refreshing speed walk around the neighborhood. Everything was clean from the morning rain. I was remembering swimming at the lake as a kid and getting old enough to walk the 2 miles to get there. Continue reading

Alcoholics Anonymous is a free support group that can help people get and stay sober. In Atlanta, you can find a meeting almost every hour of every day (www.atlantaaa.org) . Continue reading

Oftentimes in therapy, clients have secrets that they may never have told anyone. I was just reading an interesting blog on Psychology Today by Anita E. Kelly, a Psychology Professor at the University of Notre Dame and the author of The Psychology of Secrets. She gives four tips Continue reading